joycee's

i am going crazy already.

in no mood to talk,in no right mind to discuss.
all in all,it amounts up to all the heartbreaking reality that i am not able to help much in this oh-so complicated situation.

so,tell me.what makes a perfect eldest sister?
i wanna take off some burden from my parents,to be a listening ear for my siblings,but everything seem so wrong right now.not only i am adding on stress or burden to my parents,i realised that i am not a sister that my siblings might be able to trust.just as much as i am typing this,tears are like welling up and i fighting it back to cry,to be weak,to be so tad helpless..

i think i am losing it.seriously losing it..

but i am thankful for my cousins,ly and shane for being here.for listening,for giving advices,for being concern,for everything...

where's my happy holidays?